Monday, November 24, 2014

I'm only one half

It'll take some time getting used to this, but I feel like this will be a good chapter in our lives. We had a good year and a few months living together, and it worked out. And I'm sure this next chapter will be just as significant.

I never had much dreams, I didn't really look forward into the future with goals, I just took everything a day at a time. When I ran away from home, I didn't plan it, I decided on it the day I ran away. When I told you I liked you, I didn't plan on it, I just felt that I had to tell you and I did. I made big life changes without any sort of plan, it was just what I felt was right.

Unfortunately, this way of life can only get me so far. And it's probably not the most ideal way, not when I'm sharing my life with you. I know I've been telling you things like I'm insecure, or excuses that I'm poor, and I hope you realize that it's me not trusting myself, my capabilities - that I may not be good enough. I have always lacked the confidence to believe in myself, and it's refreshing to find someone else who does.

Thank you for being there, for being here, for supporting me. I know it seems like I'm asking you to carry my baggage, but that's not the case at all. I feel like I just need someone to hold my hand, to make me feel that I'm not alone, to make me feel that I have an ally I can face the world with.

I was always a scared little boy, and I know that wasn't the best line you would want to hear from me, but I want you to know that you are slowly turning me into more than a scared little boy, and I hope someday I'll see myself the way you see me - as someone good for you.

I love you hun, and I always will. I hope you'll be patient with me a little longer.