Who Knows the Future?

 Happy Anniversary hun!

Truth be told, I didn't get to finish this before you had asked if I wrote one. But I was in the process of writing one already. So I hope it didn't make you too sad.

We have so many anniversaries. This is our 2nd marriage anniversary. Our first wedding anniversary. We just passed our 12th relationship anniversary. I could get confused in 30 more years.

I hope I have at least that many more years with you. I thought given my lifestyle 30 years would be good. I'd be happy with that. I'd be a weak and fragile 80-year old. I don't want to have to be taken care of. I don't want to be anyone's burden. Got a little dark there, so let's dial it back a bit. 

After being together for 12 years, I think we both know that we don't like big celebrations. Celebrating just never came naturally for me, I don't even have a birthday that I can remember, except one - maybe 5th or 6th grade. It was the only time I celebrated with friends.

But while I do not plan out celebrations in general, it doesn't mean I don't like making small gestures to show that I care about celebrating being with you. Most of the time, I think up of ways to show these, but ultimately fail - whether by not following through, or just not being prepared. 

Hopefully you enjoyed the simple gesture today. I actually went into overthinking mode - where I thought you probably expect it, so I should change it up. But you like it, so I should do it. In the end, I did it anyway. 

I know the post doesn't sound celebratory, but that's another thing you probably already expect from me. So this is me hoping you still enjoy the same old boring me. Because I look forward to being boring together for the next 30 years - maybe more. You make me want to want more. So who knows?