Summer's almost over

Or at least summer classes. Finally!

I remember during 1st sem, while I was taking the Fil diagnostic exam, I didn't want to take summer classes, so I took the test seriously. By November, there was this ITM test that if you passed, you wouldn't have to take the course for the summer, and I passed it... so I wouldn't have summer.

About a month ago, I was lining up for enrollment.... for summer classes. HAHAHA!

Don't get me wrong, I WANTED summer classes by that time. [too bad some of my plans got screwed, hindering this summer to be the best ever]

Is it psychological? Or is it true. A milestone is soon to be passed and things are looking up.

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!

Napapansin mo na yata

Nasabihan na ako ng isa sa aking mga kaibigan ukol sa akong pagsusulat dito. Hindi ko maikakaila ang transpormasyon ng aking pagsusulat. Marahil hindi lang matiis ng aking kaisipan ang hindi magsulat ng walang makakaintindi.

Hindi ko ninais ang bumalik sa dating anyo ang aking mga pagsusulat. Umabot sa kagalit-galit na tono ang aking pagsusulat hanggang sa mapag-isip na tono. Ito ang magiging harang o pagpapakita ng pagkakaiba sa susunod.

Marahil babalik muli sa dati anyo, at medyo sigurado rin ako na mangyayari yun, ngunit sa mga panahong ito, susubukan ko ang hindi pansinin ang mga katatawang pag-iisip na dumaraan sa aking aktibong imahinasyon. Hindi rin pala mabuti ang suri ng suri ng walang kaalam-alam.

At pagkatapos nito, iisipin ko munang mabuti kung magsusulat pa nga ba ako o hindi. Hindi na nakakatuwa.

Paalam? Hindi naman siguro.

A New Year's resolution

Change

Look away

I don't see the desire for time to be as one. But I do see the smiles behind less completion.

Moody, moody, moody, moody, moody. Or am I?

Jimmyboy needs to run faster. Life is catching up real fast.

Hmmm... Kat's debut on friday... formal wear... lazy... but then again... the bear's head is gonna get ripped out... hahaha!

MY FEET FUCKIN HURTS!!!

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Hahaha!

I'm going for the kill

I'm hoping it's not an answer to my question, even if that answer is not negative.

Slowly, the worms are eating me alive, again.
I've never liked typing sentences and not use double-space so I don't like Trini's formatted ghost. HAHA!
Today, no electricity the whole afternoon, got to use to PC at night, played Rome:Total War, etc.

Hours took too long to pass. Good thing I had something that I'm not supposed to have. I hope it's not found out. Hahaha!

The book, The Fortunate Pilgrim, is starting to be nice... well not nice... starting to be not so boring. Haha.

Courage is not measured by how brave you are but by how much fears you have, and what among them you face.

Cause I know this will be very hard...

I'm not bothered anymore. I think it's because there is a greater mystery that covers it.

Our PE 101 teacher is nice. Make up quiz and an extension to pass the reaction paper for those who CUT.

I don't want to be left ignorant. It creates this fucked up feeling of uncertainty when it's kept more of a secret.

Anyway, God reminded me today that good deeds are easily forgotten. Last wednesday, I commuted home from Magallanes. It was raining REALLY hard there was no shade to where I'm supposed to wait for the jeep. I was already soaking wet when this lady approches and offers me her umbrella for us to share. I've forgotten about it until just a few minutes ago. It was raining hard again. I had to line up in trike station. I was already wet, again, when this lolo offered me his umbrella. This time, it didn't reach the part where I was SOAKING because the lolo offered it immediately.

Some people are nice, I guess...

5-6 more weeks and I'm back to normal schooldays where I can stay in the condo. I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Better tomorrow...

Are you still happy?

Yeah! It's a thursday and I'm in Katipunan! A day of FREEDOM and RELAXATION! Right now, I'm going to Drew's to drink with a couple of friends I haven't seen in a while.

Spent the day with neek, reached chapter 4 of the new book I'm reading, Slept in berch benches and dela costa smocket.

The wind today was nice... or was it deceiving?

I have a full-proof plan to restore my brain to its former glory. Hahaha!

OUT

I wake up

Blinking, slowly seeing light...

I have opened my eyes and accepted what I can see.

A new day has come and I have decided.

I'll fly with my eyes closed... and let you guide me.

----------------

So, curiosity killed the cat...

Fortunately, it has nine lives.

Mending wounds

And so it begins...

What now?

I stare blankly as I wait for the next day.

I have accidentally obeyed my friend who I ran into yesterday who blessed several of the smockets [I accompanied him once]. Your consultation, it seems the inevitable is true. I surrendered. As to its level of strength, I was suspended for a game.

Misunderstandings

You must learn to obey before you command - some Roman

Unbelievably, I got this from a game. Haha!

Was this used as a step towards a failed goal?

Or was this used as a step towards a temporary goal?

It's hard to believe everything that's real if I can convince myself my lies are true.

I'm waiting for a personal advancement.

Blindness

Yesterday was fun. I had fun. I didn't drink a lot, but it was still fun. Maybe I should've finished the Vodka? But then again I was just gonna commute home so better not get tipsy. Didn't greet the parents... stupid!

I cover my eyes, to see what I don't desire. Unfortunately, I still see.

Simplicity at its worst. Everything seems so simple and yet it is much more comlicated than anything I've ever encountered.

A simple test of faith... and again I walk blindy towards the shadows. I take a step back and reconsider my chances of survival.

Runaway from the simplicity and complications of this matter... impossible!

Or maybe it is something more heroic than anything else... fighting one's own demons. Maybe, just maybe... we are heroes.

But the question remains, who wins the battle?

I need an escape!

HATE is too small a word to describe how I feel about you. You manipulate everything in order to gain control.

But somehow... my greatest fear is coming into action... I'm turning into you.

Discussion was about trust... Trust? You broke that YEARS ago when they caught you. Right and wrong? You just know what favors you. Paranoid? You define the word by you. Your control over her life... it saddens me, worse still... I can't do anything about it. I want to apologize to her... but I'm not very good at showing emotions.

I don't ever want to be like you...

Mind you readers, he's not a very bad person... reading about him from the writings of someone who hates him isn't exactly unbiased.

All the way home!

I feel disappointed... but worse, I feel like an ass for being disappointed.
No questions asked about this, thank you
3rd month! Love you very much! Sorry, no surprise... next time :)

I've to admit that I haven't been the person I've always wanted to be... Maybe in a few years... maybe.

Another out of town trip... this really sucks... I cut class, miss another day in school, no landline and we don't really do anything there... sucks sucks sucks!

Summer's turning into the same old "I want classes to start" summer.

Another night...

Still the sissy man that I am...

And yet I still feel enraged

And to confuse some more, I don't know why anymore...

Am I to blame for this? Am I to end up less a person? Am I to be left nothing?

This act... I hope it's not what it seems.