There is just no word for it

Or my vocabulary is just too small...

Once in a while I tend to throw big words when I write stuff, most of the time to make myself seem smart... hahaha! BUT, it kinda has an upside, since I don't want to be embarrassed, I end up knowing exactly what that big word mean... OH YEAH!

Kinda like how I treat life... I make myself seem more knowledgeable about life, when in reality I know so little... I make myself seem different from who I really am... like making myself seem stupid when in fact, I am a genius... WAHAHAHA!

Over analyzing methinks... funny thing is, actually... there is not funny part.

Well, at least this is a better reason for sleepless nights instead of having to study all night because I was cramming... wahaha!

There are a lot of fears I don't want to admit... even to myself... and that makes me a sissy.

So what do I do? I just smile :)