Apologies

They've been a dime a dozen, I know. But I'm sorry I didn't get the job.

And another one comes, not because of anything I had any fault with. Just how things turned out. 

Maybe wishful thinking came too early.

Time to get my head out of the clouds, buckle up, and get cracking.

Went for too many idioms, I feel like an idiot.

Plans & Purpose, Pressure and Provide

I have always treated life agnostically, at least in terms of purpose and meaning. The daily battle of living through another day makes all those bigger truths seem unimportant and out of touch. This sounds drearier than it actually is, but sitting down and taking a moment to think about these things makes me feel disappointment with how I've gone through this journey.

I want to do better. I want to be better.

Your suffering weighs heavily on me, and it pains me to be this helpless. You need saving. I know it too. And yet, I feel unable, lacking and powerless.

I know you believe in me. I want to believe in me too.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this latest development. Maybe there's still a way for me to be your hero.

Hang in there.