Nothing

Despair.

I treasure sleep for it is only through my dreams that I can reach the unattainable.

Westgrove tomorrow. Another chance to get wasted. Haha! I now know that I can control myself. I won't drink when the situation isn't for it. I know I've been drinking a lot lately but that doesn't have to continue when school starts.

Smoking... I wonder if I can really cut down next year. I want to. [Plus, it could test if I can really quit for the person I love... if it requires quitting... whenever that may happen... whoever that may be... hahaha!] Ok maybe I can't... but I can try? HAHAHA! [Or if I'm lucky, I'd end up loving someone who smokes... HAHAHA!] Naahh... I should stay away from love... hahaha! I should stick to academics.

Time is not my ally after all... I posted a blog in my multiply. Hahaha!

Anyway... I'm reading a new book. I think it's The Rule of Four or something... I'm not sure. Haha! Stupid reader. It seems nice. I tried reading Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde but I got the other book just recently so I stopped reading that. Whatever. I should go read the next history readings... and Law too! Haha! Maybe next week.

New Year! New Year! New Year! What could my New Year's resolution be? Hrmmm... Hahaha! I don't know really... less smoking? less drinking? or maybe more studying? Hahaha! Whatever. I end up not following it anyway. Maybe I'll try this year... or not.

I'm keeping a secret. And at a crucial moment, I admitted it. Now, since that has passed... I am back to denial... the best defense mechanism there is. [Although rationalization is another way to go at it]

Gym? I think I need to gain weight first. Darn darn darn. I don't think I'll be gaining weight anymore. It's weird really, I've been eating alot recently, but it seems I'm not gaining any weight. Oh well.

I'm tired. I'm tired of being a coward. HAHAHA!

Later.