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A part of me wants to go home. A bigger part of me wants to prove to myself that I don't need to go home right now. I need to make myself independent and make my own path, then decide whether I still want to go home.

Maybe it's pride, maybe it's shame... either way, I don't think I'll ever be going home.

It makes me sad, thinking about how things blew out of proportions. But I made a choice, and maybe I didn't realize it then, or maybe I just don't want to admit it, but I chose to be free, and that choice includes the responsibilities that go along with it.

I keep telling myself I've matured... but really... have I?

I need that someone to push me to want to be better. I never admit it, but I think I need to have someone to want me to be better.

But then again... :|